Let the tears roll!

The leprosy hospital

Today was another one of those days that I will look back on for the rest of my life. I started out the day tired, discouraged, and doubtful due to things going on here in India. I knew that I needed an attitude adjustment, but nothing seemed to be doing the trick. We boarded the bus for a leprosy colony that is funded by the government and told that we needed to build a relationship with the people running the colony. We showed up and were given a five minute introduction and then boarded the van again only to be dropped off by some buildings and no explaination. The one woman there with us didn't speak English but luckily her daughter came out of the house and could translate for us enough to figure out what was going on. They did not have anything medical for us to do, but were planning on having us clean up their property aka manual labor/yardwork. The second I heard this my heart sank. I was in no mood to do yard work in 100 degree weather. Luckily one of the girls was smart enough to ask if we could tour the leprosy hospital across the street while we waited for the tools to arrive. We walked around the hospital and were amazed at how run down the place was. Think of a zoo and that is what it seemed like this place was. When we asked if we could take a picture of the men's ward, he said no, then proceeded to round up all of the patients from their lunch and made them sit on their bed and wouldn't let us take the picture until every last one of them had hobbled into the room and sat picture perfectly on their bed. It just all seemed so wrong. But after the tour we headed back across the street where they proceeded to hand out machetes and rakes that were made from a long stick with a wooden paddle at the end. I don't even know how to use a machete and definitely didn't have the energy to use it properly. But we got to work and I still just kept telling myself to keep going because it was service and its what they asked us to do, but in my heart I was not a happy camper. Finally lunch time arrived and they were so kind to bring up cold bottled water and a liter of cold coca cola. It hit the spot for sure. After lunch, I felt much better and up to doing the manual labor. But I still didn't have a great attitude. As we were working away, a leprosy patient arrived and started helping us. We would fill up a garbage bin of weeds and he would take it to the edge of the property and dump it. He had just a happy demeanor about him and was smiling the whole time. The part that struck me the most was when I got close enough to see that he did not have a single finger. His hands consisted of nothing but the palm and a few nubs past the first knuckle here and there. Once I saw that and started working side by side with him my whole attitude changed. Here I was, completely healthy and capable and I was complaining about weeding and this man didn't even have fingers and he was working and sweating along side us happy as a clam. He even took time to point out the sharp points on certain plants and sign language that we shouldn't carry those ones, but let him pick them up. The longer I watched him work, the harder it became to keep from crying. Seriously there were multiple times that I had to take a minute to get myself together. But my teacher mentioned something about him and as I started to respond, the tears just came. I couldn't help it. I was just so overcome with humility and appreciation for the lesson he had taught me. There are many things in life that we face that are far from ideal and things that we wish we could change, but its all about our attitude. We can go to work and grumble about it or we can be happy and let the work strengthen our character. The real growing doesn't come from work or service that is done grudgingly, but from service provided happily and with a willing heart. I will always think back to that man without any fingers hauling those trash bins and sweating right along side us. He was so kind and I felt so much closer to the Savior through this experience. I felt like I saw a little more in him what the Savior must have seen in those afflicted with leprosy during His time on earth. He sees that they are children of God just like everyone else and we all need Him in our lives to heal us in one way or another.

My hero

Before we boarded the van to go home, the manager of the facilities came up to us and said that whenever he looks at that yard he will think of us American nurses. On the ride home I repeated what he said to the rest of the girls cause most of them didn't hear it and once again the tears came. I am just so overcome with gratitude for the Indian people I have met. Everyone has been so kind and appreciative for whatever we do, no matter how big or small. One of the coordinators asked me to give the devotional at dinner and I knew I was already done for....and sure enough, I got emotional but luckily not too much so I could still get through it and have them comprehend what I was saying. I first shared this quote by Mother Teresa which says, "A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves. The fruit of silence is prayer, the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace." This quote is perfect for me because I have found that to find that real or organic me I have had to go through a little hurt, get rid of some habits, and give up some comforts. But in the process I have found more love, faith, service and peace. And it has all been worth it.

Rosy's present

One last little tidbit. At family time tonight I was a little distracted thinking about all of the things I needed to do to get ready for my overnight trip in the jungle. I was talking and playing with the girls and like always found myself forgetting about everything else but being there with them. Rosy, a twelve year old girl, was particularly talkative tonight and I just loved sitting and chatting with her cause she has what my dad calls "smiling eyes" that are contagious. I told her that if she told me the best tamil (language spoken in southern india) movie, I would rent it when I got back to america and watch it and think of her. She loved that idea. As I was leaving all of the girls were busy doing homework or getting in bed (which consists of a straw mat on the cement floor) so I left without making a big fuss and saying goodbye to everyone at once. Rosy must have noticed that I had left cause she came running down the stairs after me and shoved these two small chocolate candies into my hand and said, "chocolate for your trip." I almost broke into tears again. Here this girl who has so little, offers up some of the few sweets that she has to me, who has come to serve her. She reminded me of what it really means to give. Its not just giving away a fraction of your great excess, but giving of what we have the least, whether that be time, money, affection, or two small chocolate candies.