It was the best of times and it was the worst of times.

Today was such a dream. It flew by as if it didn't even happen. We woke up and jumped in the van to check out the Bindu Art school which is located at a leprosy colony that paints to sustain themselves. A European artist came to the colony a few years back and taught many of them how to paint and they have been making quite the living ever since. Many of the leprosy patients are missing fingers, but manage to still make beautiful paintings by getting creative like strapping the paintbrush to their wrist. There were so many beautiful paintings and I am happy with the one I have chosen. It reminds me of rural India which has captured my heart.

An artist's station

After we returned to Rising Star, I made it over to the last little bit of my friend Brenen's English class at the school. I wanted to see what their classes were like. It was so much fun to listen in on their English classes and see how they all interact in a school setting. I also just wanted some extra time with them as well, I just can't get enough.

Brenen's Class

The best part of the day was probably play time. We had a huge water balloon fight and dance party with all of the kids. It was easily one of the happiest moments of my life. As I looked around and saw all of the smiling faces of these children whom I have grown to love, I think I felt what pure bliss must feel like. The Indian sun was shining down on us, Indian music was playing in the background, and buckets of water were being thrown every which way. I love those moments in life when you are just so happy that you can't even take it all in. I feel so blessed to have been able to have this experience and chasing them down to dump water on them and dancing like an Indian princess made it all the sweeter.

Whitney and I got soaked

After dinner we headed over to the children's hostel for our last family time. It was bittersweet and so hard to do. These kids have become such a part of my routine and they have taught me so much. I am going to miss these kids more than I can even imagine right now. As I was leaving, some of the girls came up to me and gave me things to remember them by. Suvitha game me a plastic beaded necklace and V. Devi game me a hair clip. G. Devi tried to give me a picture of her family and a negative of her mother, but after much deliberation she agreed to give me a picture of herself because I wanted her to have the pictures of her family to remember them by. Eswari made me a little packet of things she cared about as well and when I told her that she worked hard for those things and should keep them, she refused and said that they were gifts so I better take them. These girls have so very little and what they do have they get from the star store which they purchase using points they earn for good behavior at school. I was so touched by these girls and their desire to give of what little they have. I must admit, I am not the best and most willing when it comes to sharing certain things. But these girls have taught me that when you really care about someone, you want to give them what means the most to you. You should give freely and without a second thought and if they can share, so can I. I want to be more like them, true examples of Christ like love and behavior.

My Girls

Me and G. Devi

Today was an interesting day in regards to our day trip. We were supposed to follow a patient through their hospital experience at a nice hospital in Chennai. So we made the 2+ hr drive to the city, met our leprosy patient and followed them to their appointment. The idea was good, but the actual experience, not so much. Our patient ended up sitting in the waiting room for nearly three hours. There was no AC and no english speakers so it was very stimulating...not. Camille and I had a nice chat about life and dating, she is one of the two married girls on the trip so she had some good advice. We also had an awkward moment where they offered us coffee and Camille took it to be nice so I did too so she wasn't in it alone, but then it was more awkward when we didn't drink it. I also got handed an Indian baby to hold after waving at a random woman's child. For a second I thought I was going to have to hold him through her whole appointment, but luckily the father appeared to retrieve the child. Don't get me wrong, the baby was adorable and I was happy to hold him, but when you can't communicate with someone, I was a little wary to babysit. We then headed to a short lecture on leprosy from a dermatologist at the hospital that used to work for rising star before Dr. Susan. After the lecture, we grabbed some porotha from the hospital cafeteria (which was divine and one of my favorites) and headed back to rising star. We got home just in time for play time and I hung out with Ruthish again and Eswari put flowers in my hair.

Tonight at dinner instead of doing highs and lows, we talked about all of the things we have learned from being in India. It was so neat to listen to what everyone has taken out of this experience and really made me reflect on what I have learned while being on this adventure. I have learned so much about what we can learn from children. They are true examples of forgiveness, meekness, love, and resilience. I have also learned so much about service. I have learned that even when you don't feel your best, if you go to work serving others, the Lord can help you accomplish His work. You also leave feeling so much better. I almost feel as if the people here have served me more than I have served them because I always feel better about and learn something about myself after working with them. I have learned that service is what you make it, you can have a bad attitude about it or you can let it soften your heart and increase your capacity to love. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that you can have joy in your life no matter your circumstances. The people here have so little and yet are some of the happiest people I have every rubbed shoulders with. Happiness is a decision and shouldn't be based upon material possessions or if everything in your life in hunkey dorey. I have recognized that I need to be more grateful for the blessings in my life, my family, my education, my status as a woman, my opportunities, my religion, and my health. These are just a few of the things I have learned from being here because I don't think it is possible to even try to write down all of the ways I have been touched and molded from my experiences here in India.

I just wanted to remember a few details about some of the girls that I visit at family time and to introduce you to some of the new friends that I have made here at Rising star.

V. Devi and Buggi

V. Devi is an absolute ham. She has the most ridiculous sense of humor and I laugh every time I see her. Early on she was quite affectionate and at first it took some getting used to the fact that she wanted to kiss both of my cheeks, my forehead, and my chin when she said goodnight. Buggi is one of the smartest and most beautiful girls here. Her English is wonderful and her smile is contagious.

Rosy and Suvitha

Rosy is the girl with the smiling eyes and has a personality to match. She is sweet and kind and has a pinch of sass. I can just look at her and smile and when she smiles back you can feel the warmth across the room. Suvitha is quiet, but has one of those spirits that just wants to give. She is always looking out for me, making sure that I am comfortable and that none of the girls are bothering me. She's such a sweetheart.

Theresa

Theresa is also one of the smartest girls I have met here at Rising Star. She wants to be doctor when she grows up and it is evident by the fact that she checks out my veins all the time cause you can see them through my pasty skin. I have loved doing chemistry homework with her and encouraging her to fulfill her dream.

Eswari posing as me

Eswari has become an additional appendage, sometimes its a bit overwhelming, but I just remember that its how she shows she cares. She is always whispering things in my ear or telling me what girls are saying in Tamil and she has quite the personality. I love her spunk.

Laura after her makeover (Tamilarasi, the house mother, is to her left)

Tonight as I was leaving family time I notice Tamilarasi doing henna on one of the girls. I had no clue she did henna and asked if she would mind doing mine. As we sat, I asked her how old she was and she said she was 22. I couldn't believe it. She is younger than me and responsible for 15 little girls. She said that she has always wanted to be a house mother. It has taken quite some time for Tamilarasi to open up to me. When we first arrrived, she would just stay in her little closet of a room and I wouldn't ever see her, but as I made it an effort to talk to her, she has come out of her shell. You can tell that she loves the girls so much and that they love her in return. She takes such good care of them and is their mom away from home. I really respect her for the work she does with these girls cause it is no easy task to get that many girls to bed all at the same time, trust me.

Home, Sweet Home (in India Mom)!

So I'm skipping my post about the Taj Mahal for now because I have so much to write about and want to get caught up. We rolled into Rising Star around one o'clock in the AM on monday morning and boy did it feel good to be back. We got some sleep and then we were off to do health screenings on the staff here at rising star which includes teachers, kitchen staff, security, and the drivers. It was really nice to meet the adults that make this place run so smoothly and become better friends with them. I wish I had some more time here cause on of the cooks has become my new friend and I'd love to take some cooking lessons from her. We then went to play time where it was my family's turn to ride bikes. Jayamary a UKG (kindergarten) student fell and scraped her knee and I felt so honored that she ran to me to console her. She is an absolute doll and I want to put her in my pocket and bring her home. At family time on monday night, I was welcomed home from my 5 day absence with lots of loving embraces. I am always so impressed with how open all of the girls are with showing affection and giving complements. They are able to just open up their hearts to us volunteers even though they know our time with them is so short. It truly has been an example to me of how to love those around us. You can't go around withholding your true feelings because you're afraid of getting hurt or left behind or what they'll think of you if you open your mouth, you have to let down your guard and let the love pour out no matter who they are or what the circumstance. You should give compliments freely and open yourself up and not be afraid. They are my little shining stars and have become some of the best examples I have ever seen of how to love another person.

Me and Jayamary

On Tuesday we did anemia screenings on a good portion of the kids and they were quite the bunch of rascals for us. The boys were even more afraid than the girls, it was quite funny to watch. I even had to talk one kid out from under the table, my convincing skills are getting quite good if I may say so myself. During interval (recess) one of the little girls jumped on my back when I wasn't paying attention and I hit heads with the little boy in front of me along my brow line. It hurt pretty badly and the little boy could tell that I was in pain, so to make things better, he grabbed my face pulled open my eyelids and blew into my eyeball. It was pretty comical, but also so sweet cause here we have been consoling them after we had poked and prodded them doing all of our medical procedures and he had turned around and comforted me. It is so hard to work with the UKG students because they don't speak English very well and we have no way of communicating with them when we are about to do a procedure like giving a shot and no way to say sorry afterwards. It made me think about how important communication really is and how we take the ability to communicate so easily with the people around us for granted at times. I just wish I could have apologized to that little girl who cried all the way home after her shot.

Oh so tasty!

I also got a chance to eat lunch with the kids which is my favorite and today I even "went native" as my friend Beth calls it and ate with my hand. I was instructed by my good friend Jana as to proper hand eating technique. I also ran into my friend Ruthish who I mentioned earlier as being one of the funniest kids at Rising Star and convinced him to allow me to take his picture. Seriously, I could hang out with him all day long he makes me laugh so hard. I also think he is the cutest thing ever.

Ruthish

Later in the afternoon, one of the house maids, Meera, who is so beautiful and kind, dressed us all up in sari's so we could feel like real Indian women. She was so kind to stay after work and fold our sari's just right so we could take pictures in them. After we got all of our Sari's on, our professor Karen took pictures of each of us and I felt like it was prom all over again. She is such an amazing teacher and I have loved spending so much time with her here in India, she's like my mom away from home. Then a long term volunteer for Rising Star named Lex came out and it turned into a fashion shoot. He worked for a photographer and had us doing all of these poses and I felt rather silly, but hopefully some of the pictures turn out all right. Here is one off of my camera so its more normal.

Me, Kirsten, Beth, Ashley, Becca, Camille, and Meera in the middle

Later that night, I went to family time wearing my sari and the girls acted like they didn't know who I was when I walked into the room. They kept looking at me and when I asked them if it was because I looked silly in my sari, they said no, it was because I looked so beautiful. I think it is so interesting that they find pale skin so pretty. Women here put face chalk on to make their skin lighter. They think that the lighter the skin, the more beautiful you are. I think that is so crazy because some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen are Indian. Isn't it funny that we always think that what everybody else has is the prettiest? I wish that as women we could all just become comfortable in our own skin and widen our idea of beauty to accept all sizes and skin tones. The girls then decided that I needed my hair done and then that I needed a makeover. They all pulled out the little makeup that they had and did my makeup the way a true indian woman would. They drew on eyebrows, gave me a bindi (the jewel in between your eyes), and even drew on a beauty mark. I felt a little like a clown after they showed me myself in a mirror, but I loved it because they had done it out of love. They even pulled out their pretty jewelry to let me borrow so I could feel all dressed up. I just love them all. It was so neat to see how giving they are of what little they have. They would do anything for one of the volunteers and not even bat an eyelash about it. I also loved to see how excited they got about giving me a makeover. G. Devi even said that I was all ready to have a baby and when I told her I didn't have a husband she said, "that's okay, you marry my brother." So mom and dad, I guess you won't have to resort to an arranged marriage for me, the girls here have already got it figured out.

This is the only picture I dare put up, any closer and you might have nightmares

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!

Here unfolds the story of one of the longest traveling weekends in my life, but also one of the most exciting. We arrived at Rising Star from our tribal village trip at midnight and then had to wake up at 2:30am to drive 2 hrs to the Chennai airport to catch our plane to Delhi. It was quite the night and quite the travel experience. The Chennai airport is rather confusing and intimidating. The security is so finicky about what they will allow and what they won't, which is why when I was being wanded in a secluded area I basically took off all my clothes so that she wouldn't think I was hiding anything. Seriously, I pulled up my shirt and then my skirt just to prove that I was innocent. All of the other girls had a good laugh about that after they explained they hadn't had to do any of that. But we finally boarded the plane and were off. Once we reached Delhi, I immediately noticed a difference. The airport was newer and cleaner and the people were all dressed in pants and shirts, none of the chudidhars that we were wearing. Our Delhi tour guide met us at the curb and took us to our nice air conditioned bus with the word "tourist" in giant letters across the front. We found out later that he was either the first or one of the first members of the LDS church in India to be baptized.

We first toured New Delhi which was much cleaner and nicer than I was expecting. We then headed over to Old Delhi which was much more familiar. There were tiny alleyways and electrical wires everywhere. We drove rickshaws through the streets and saw the bridal shops and then stopped in my favorite, the old spice market. The aroma was almost a little too much for my lungs but I survived. We then stopped at a restaurant for lunch and this place was authentic. It was a hole in the wall, but oh so good. One of my new favorite dishes is butter chicken curry, but you have to specify that you want it boneless. After lunch we hopped back on the bus and started our drive to Agra, the old capital of India.

Old Spice Market

On our way to Agra, we stopped at the Baha'i Lotus temple. It was such a pretty building and one of the girls is a member of Baha'i faith. I'm pretty sure its a nondenominational church. The best part of this little stop was all of the Indian tourists that wanted pictures with us. Seriously, I felt like a movie star. People would grab me and pull me into their pictures and some would snap pictures on their phones while we weren't looking. It was kind of amusing and flattering, until we were trying to leave and got swarmed. We asked our guide why they wanted our picture and he said that a lot of them are from rural areas in Indian and have never seen Europeans or people with white skin before.

Lotus Temple

We then hopped back on the bus and made our way to our hotel in Agra which was quite the swanky joint. We stayed at Jaypee Hotel and I have never felt so spoiled before after using bucket showers and squatting toilets for two weeks straight. It was nice to get in a regular shower and not have to worry about whether the water is going to be freezing cold or not.

Tribal Village Part Two

Mr. Peter, Vel (our driver), Me, Kim J., and Amanda

The second day of our tribal adventure was a special treat. We woke up for morning devotional at 7:00 sharp and met the doctor and his staff in their small chapel which was beautiful, windows everywhere to let in the sunlight. This devotional was probably one of the most special spiritual experiences I've ever shared with someone of another faith. We started out by hearing a prayer song in Tamil by some of the doctor's (physician that runs the Smart Medical Clinic, sadly I don't know his name) staff and daughters. It was absolutely beautiful. Our group of LDS students then sang, "Nearer My God To Thee." Dr. Kirby, a family practitioner from Salt Lake City shared a thought from the new testament and then the doctor opened it up for anyone else to share or ask questions because he said that when he was younger, he never liked that the pastor would preach at him and then everyone would go home without discussing anything. I love this doctor because he reminded me of my grandpa Leavitt and my own father. He was one of the most kind, gentle, tender-hearted people I have ever met. He just radiated goodness and had a desire to devote his whole life to the service of those in need. He could make a decent living as a doctor here in India, but instead chose to use his education to live in a rural town where he provided basically free medical attention to nearby villagers. Everytime he spoke I was just overcome with the realization of how special it was to be able to connect on a spiritual level with him and his staff across cultures and religions. The doctor shared a few comments that brought tears to my eyes, which has become a regular occurance this trip. At one point he said that he was so grateful to be born into his native country of India and so grateful for all that he has been given in his life. I felt so humbled by this comment. He lived such a simple life, without any real luxuries, but still he was so grateful for everything he had and you could tell that he was being genuine. He was grateful for his daughters and their faith, for his ability to help those in need, for his own religion, and for his culture. I immediately realized that I needed to have more appreciation for all that I am blessed with in my life and to recognize more completely where those blessings come from. Everything that we have is from our Heavenly Father and sometimes it is so easy to think that we receive some blessings as a result of our own hard work or skill, but without the Lord and our Father in Heaven we wouldn't have any of it. If that doctor can be so grateful for what he has in his life, I need to thank my Heavenly Father for all that I have been given including the little luxuries that come from living in the united states, the opportunity to get an education and a job, my health, and especially my family who has helped me grow in the gospel.

After the doctor had made some comments, Navamani, the leprosy hospital trained nurse, had Dr. Susan tell about her son. She had her explain that her son had contracted Guillen-barr syndrome and woke up one morning nearly paralzyed. She said that she almost lost her son, but that thru the goodness of God he survived. She then said that she wanted to sing a song of gratitude and praise to God in Tamil. The song was so lovely and heartfelt. She had tears running down her cheeks while singing and you could feel of the love she had for her God and the blessing He had bestowed upon her by sparing her son's life. While they were singing, I was overcome with the love that Heavenly Father has for all of his children. He doesn't discriminate based on race, religion, or personal decisions. He loves each and everyone of us no matter where we are. He loves us even when we make mistakes or when we turn our back on Him and is ready and waiting with open arms for us to turn unto Him again. I felt so connected with those people in that small chapel through the love of our Heavenly Father and our mutual desire to come closer to Him and His son, Jesus Christ. I will never forget that moment when our cultural differences were far surpassed by our joint love of God.

After the devotional we ate another homemade breakfast by the Smart Clinic staff which was delicious, as always. We then headed on up four mountains to reach the second tribal village. We all crammed into two Sumos (SUVs of sorts) and traveled one bumpy road to reach villagers that rarely got medical attention. We set up the outdoor clinic and I got busy checking blood pressure and using the few Tamil words I know, like hello and thank you and then using sign language for everything in between. We checked BP and blood glucose before they would see doctor susan for a more complete check up. Toward the end of the day I was helping keep people in line and keeping them from overwhelming Dr. Susan and whom she was seeing at the time because she didn't really have an exam room to keep people out seeing as she was just sitting under a tree. I noticed a younger girl sitting on a bench surrounded by people who seemed to be in a lot of pain. The more I looked at her, the more I realized that she was extremely uncomfortable and looked as if she might faint. I sat down next to her and asked if one of the volunteers could make sure that she got seen next. The doctor looked at her and remember that she had seen her a while back and informed of us of her diagnosis of lymphoma. She explained that the massive lump on her neck with the stitches in it was from a biopsy and that her father was unable to take her to the hospital as frequently as was needed because he didn't have enough money to do so. My heart broke in that instant. When I heard that I just sat down next to her and grabbed her hand and just held it for 30 minutes while her father was seen by the doctor. This girl was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen in India. She had gorgeous amber eyes with long beautiful lashes and yet you could see a deep sadness in her eyes. You could see that this girl had experienced more pain in her life than any child should ever have to endure. We couldn't do anything for this girl in terms of medical care because we simply did not have the necessary medicines or supplies. But I did all that I could and that was just sitting there and holding her hand to let her know that I cared. Dr. Susan later told me that she had never seen that girl as calm as she was that afternoon. Sometimes you don't have to have a conversation with someone to express how you feel and show genuine care and concern for them. It can just be a simple act that can join two hearts.

Checking Blood Pressure

As her father finished and scooped her up on his shoulders, I once again had to look away to hide my tears as I watched that girl carried away on her father's back. It was hard to think about how common a scene this is in countries all over the world. I think all of the the difficult scenes I'd been suppressing up until that point flooded my mind and it all became so much to swallow. I wanted to wave a magic wand and make it all alright for every person in developing countries. I wanted to give them back their health, allow them access to the right medications, or the proper medical care. I eventually had to realize that all I could do in that moment was my small little part of giving of my time and skills to help in some way. I can only hope that my contribution as well as the many other people in the world giving of their time and means can help things change slowly, but surely. I think that sometimes we underestimate how something as little as holding someone's hand can make a difference and if everyone tried to do something no matter how big or little it was, we could all bring about a real change in this world.

Tribal Village Part One

We woke up at the crack of dawn to travel to the Smart Medical Clinic to visit a few tribal villages in that area. According to those who know a thing or two, we drove eight hours west of Chennai. I know those of you who know me well are thinking, "eight hours of driving + kimberlee= no bueno." But, I survived. I talked with our group coordinator Kim Jorgenson all about life in India, life elsewhere, and everything in between. We even got to try a few new fruits from a local stand in one of the cities, one was good, the other was not. We also stopped for breakfast at an Indian restaurant chain (which they have in Vancouver, BC; so mom and dad lets just plan a day trip right now) and got dosa's which I like to call a giant indian crepe. It came with yummy sauces, especially the cilantro one, wish you could have all tried it with me.

Dosa

Once we finally made it to the Smart Clinic, we unpacked the van and saw our quarters for the night. All of us girls had heard that we would be sleeping on planks of wood with a thin pad on top, but it turned out to be not quite that bad, but close. The beds were all assembled in their old chapel, which made us all feel a little better cause who would want to hurt someone in a chapel, right? The doctor and his staff then fed us a delicious home cooked meal before we headed off to one of the tribal villages. We weren't doing any medical care at this village, just talking with the people about life in the village and collecting field notes for the social worker at Rising Star. It was so interesting to talk with these people about their lives. We learned that some of the families had lived in the forest about four years ago before the government placed them in this village. We learned that they were forced out of the forest because they were being used to grow marijuana and other illegal substances by drug traffickers, so the Indian government brought them out of the forest and into an organized village. One of the biggest problems in the village was children dropping out of school. Most of the children don't have support from their parents to stay in school so they drop out to help with familial responsibilities or as one girl said, when her menstrual cycle started because it was too inconvenient, which is apparently a common reason for girls to drop out. We also learned that there is a gov't run dropout school which collects the children who have dropped out of the other school and gives them a place to live while they get an education. A lot of the teenage girls were already married with a child. The caste system is also very ingrained in this village, so much so that you cannot eat or drink with someone from another class even if they are a close friend.

One of the girls we were talking to had dropped out after first standard (grade) to help with chores at home and told us quite a bit about life in the village. The most heartbreaking moment of the whole experience was when she was walking away, we asked our translator Mr. Peter, to see if she could read. The moment that he asked her in Tamil if she was literate, here whole demeanor changed. She shook her head no and walked away with a look of embarrassment and sadness on her face. I could tell that she wished she could read so badly, but just hadn't gotten the opportunity to learn. I got what my professor Karen calls "the Kim look" and had to turn away so that the translator couldn't see me cry. In that moment I realized how grateful I am to be a woman in the United States and have the opportunity to get a college education. I am in the minority of women across the world that have the chance to get any education at all. I feel so blessed to be able to be at a wonderful university and study a major that has allowed me to help people through some of the most trying experiences of their lives. I will never forget the look on that young girl's face when she walked away and hope that I never take my education for granted again.

We then explored the village a little more and found the most beautiful views at down the road a ways. The spirit about this village was so unique and peaceful. Almost as if the modern world hadn't come in and swept away the simplicity of it all with modern technology. I could have stared out at that scene for hours.

After we finished the interviews, the children of the dropout school and our group all got in a big circle and we all sang songs together. They would sing a song for us and then we would sing songs with them. We had to think back to our Primary days to find songs that would be both entertaining and simple. I sat by two of the cutest girls. I wish I had written down their names. It was so special to share that moment with all of them and you could tell that it meant so much to them that we were there. One of the girls I sat by was so darling. She kept saying all of the compliments she could think of in English and had the sweetest smile. As we were leaving, she ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I find it so inspiring that these children show so much love and gratitude for what seems like the smallest deed. They just have this incredible ability to love and appreciate so much more than I do. I am always so impressed with how easy it is for them to show their emotion and appreciation to all of us.

My sweet friend

Let the tears roll!

The leprosy hospital

Today was another one of those days that I will look back on for the rest of my life. I started out the day tired, discouraged, and doubtful due to things going on here in India. I knew that I needed an attitude adjustment, but nothing seemed to be doing the trick. We boarded the bus for a leprosy colony that is funded by the government and told that we needed to build a relationship with the people running the colony. We showed up and were given a five minute introduction and then boarded the van again only to be dropped off by some buildings and no explaination. The one woman there with us didn't speak English but luckily her daughter came out of the house and could translate for us enough to figure out what was going on. They did not have anything medical for us to do, but were planning on having us clean up their property aka manual labor/yardwork. The second I heard this my heart sank. I was in no mood to do yard work in 100 degree weather. Luckily one of the girls was smart enough to ask if we could tour the leprosy hospital across the street while we waited for the tools to arrive. We walked around the hospital and were amazed at how run down the place was. Think of a zoo and that is what it seemed like this place was. When we asked if we could take a picture of the men's ward, he said no, then proceeded to round up all of the patients from their lunch and made them sit on their bed and wouldn't let us take the picture until every last one of them had hobbled into the room and sat picture perfectly on their bed. It just all seemed so wrong. But after the tour we headed back across the street where they proceeded to hand out machetes and rakes that were made from a long stick with a wooden paddle at the end. I don't even know how to use a machete and definitely didn't have the energy to use it properly. But we got to work and I still just kept telling myself to keep going because it was service and its what they asked us to do, but in my heart I was not a happy camper. Finally lunch time arrived and they were so kind to bring up cold bottled water and a liter of cold coca cola. It hit the spot for sure. After lunch, I felt much better and up to doing the manual labor. But I still didn't have a great attitude. As we were working away, a leprosy patient arrived and started helping us. We would fill up a garbage bin of weeds and he would take it to the edge of the property and dump it. He had just a happy demeanor about him and was smiling the whole time. The part that struck me the most was when I got close enough to see that he did not have a single finger. His hands consisted of nothing but the palm and a few nubs past the first knuckle here and there. Once I saw that and started working side by side with him my whole attitude changed. Here I was, completely healthy and capable and I was complaining about weeding and this man didn't even have fingers and he was working and sweating along side us happy as a clam. He even took time to point out the sharp points on certain plants and sign language that we shouldn't carry those ones, but let him pick them up. The longer I watched him work, the harder it became to keep from crying. Seriously there were multiple times that I had to take a minute to get myself together. But my teacher mentioned something about him and as I started to respond, the tears just came. I couldn't help it. I was just so overcome with humility and appreciation for the lesson he had taught me. There are many things in life that we face that are far from ideal and things that we wish we could change, but its all about our attitude. We can go to work and grumble about it or we can be happy and let the work strengthen our character. The real growing doesn't come from work or service that is done grudgingly, but from service provided happily and with a willing heart. I will always think back to that man without any fingers hauling those trash bins and sweating right along side us. He was so kind and I felt so much closer to the Savior through this experience. I felt like I saw a little more in him what the Savior must have seen in those afflicted with leprosy during His time on earth. He sees that they are children of God just like everyone else and we all need Him in our lives to heal us in one way or another.

My hero

Before we boarded the van to go home, the manager of the facilities came up to us and said that whenever he looks at that yard he will think of us American nurses. On the ride home I repeated what he said to the rest of the girls cause most of them didn't hear it and once again the tears came. I am just so overcome with gratitude for the Indian people I have met. Everyone has been so kind and appreciative for whatever we do, no matter how big or small. One of the coordinators asked me to give the devotional at dinner and I knew I was already done for....and sure enough, I got emotional but luckily not too much so I could still get through it and have them comprehend what I was saying. I first shared this quote by Mother Teresa which says, "A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves. The fruit of silence is prayer, the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace." This quote is perfect for me because I have found that to find that real or organic me I have had to go through a little hurt, get rid of some habits, and give up some comforts. But in the process I have found more love, faith, service and peace. And it has all been worth it.

Rosy's present

One last little tidbit. At family time tonight I was a little distracted thinking about all of the things I needed to do to get ready for my overnight trip in the jungle. I was talking and playing with the girls and like always found myself forgetting about everything else but being there with them. Rosy, a twelve year old girl, was particularly talkative tonight and I just loved sitting and chatting with her cause she has what my dad calls "smiling eyes" that are contagious. I told her that if she told me the best tamil (language spoken in southern india) movie, I would rent it when I got back to america and watch it and think of her. She loved that idea. As I was leaving all of the girls were busy doing homework or getting in bed (which consists of a straw mat on the cement floor) so I left without making a big fuss and saying goodbye to everyone at once. Rosy must have noticed that I had left cause she came running down the stairs after me and shoved these two small chocolate candies into my hand and said, "chocolate for your trip." I almost broke into tears again. Here this girl who has so little, offers up some of the few sweets that she has to me, who has come to serve her. She reminded me of what it really means to give. Its not just giving away a fraction of your great excess, but giving of what we have the least, whether that be time, money, affection, or two small chocolate candies.